Spells on Your Cells

The anatomy of language and the alchemy of shame

Many of us live our lives through a glass window, we show up fine, and yet deep inside we are operating out of patterns of shame, and separated from our truth.

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The spell of shame

We don’t always know where this shame comes from. It’s almost as if it’s the water we swim in. From a very young age we are given messaging about what will earn us love, what is acceptable behavior, and what will get us kicked out of the pack.

X + Y = good, acceptable, successful, worthy. C+D= undesirable, unstable, ugly, lazy, unworthy.

Fill in the blanks for yourself. For me I was told being small and skinny, quiet, polite, agreeable, pretty, and funny was desirable and a good thing. Also I was praised for being caring and nurturing but not having any of my own needs or being too sensitive. Even better if I could be strong, athletic, driven, and productive at all costs.

If the messages are not implicitly told to us, we watch those around us. We learn how to shrink, or how to puff our feathers to show our dominance. Very young we mold to fit the boxes of what most of our culture finds acceptable.

It starts with our closest relationships, then spreads. We internalized messages about our worth from our parents, siblings, friends, media, neighbors, from overheard conversations, from class rooms, from institutions.

Don’t be this that’s too much. Be that or your’e not enough.

My animal body has learned to survive in culture that thrives on hierarchy and separation.

To be hyper-vigilant, looking for threats and ways in which you may be unacceptable and is to live from shame, and it is a survival technique. It is a very natural response for a mammal to scan an environment and shape shift behavior according to the other mammals around you.

There is a process of perceiving information, internalized it, and adapting accordingly. This becomes a cyclic way of living, thinking, and operating. We all have adapted to our unique internal eco system of external messages from dare I say a sick society that profits off of insecurity and discontent.

Even if the behavior we watch isn’t connected to words. We create this messaging internally based on conclusions we draw.

With enough negetive thinking, there can be a physiological effect on the body which I will explain further down the article.

I am not blaming anyone who is suffering with their condition. I myself, have suffered with autoimmune issues, anxiety, depression, chronic overthinking, and negative thinking most of, if not my entire life. This is definitely not a pep talk on good vibes only, or just think more positive.

It is an active exploration of all the angles in which our body experiences and internalizes individual and collective trauma. As well as a path of currently carving holistic healing that embraces the whole being.

Rather than making conditions like this the enemy, more so exploring how our mind effects our body, and how the symptoms in our body can actually become an ally of awakening to patterns and conditioning of thought that we do have the power to resist and shift.

So why and where do my self and so many others get caught in self depreciated spirals?

For the full artilce please visit my substack link to article https://open.substack.com/pub/oliviaembodied/p/spells-on-your-cells?r=75p4p2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true